Have you ever asked this question before?
Why me?
Why are these things happening to me?
But of course we are not supposed to ask these kind of questions.
We are supposed to think of all of the wonderful blessings in our lives and give thanks.
What about the times when all you can think of is pain and hurt?
We have heard all the comforting words...
God has a plan for all of us..
Everything happens for a reason
God never gives us anything that is too hard to handle
This to shall pass...
Everything will be ok..
I'm sure I have offered similar condolences, but do they really offer any comfort when you are truly in pain and suffering..I don't think so.
Today I have a flood of emotions
Pain
Hurt
Anger
Loneliness
sadness
despair
lack of understanding
Yesterday we found out that we have miscarried AGAIN and will not be able to have a baby right now.
Yes I am 28 years old, have been married almost 4 years, of course the first question we seem to get from everyone is why we don't have kids...when are we going to start having a family...Why are we waiting...
I'm sure most of you out there that know us have wondered, have asked...
When really all we want more than anything is to start our family.
It is so hard to watch everyone you know get pregnant again and again and again and have healthy babies. It breaks my heart everytime I hear someone new is pregnant, I try not to feel some sort of resentment, I just wonder why can that not happen for us?
I do know God has a plan for us... It sure is hard to accept sometimes though
I have just kept thinking of that song
Heavenly Father Are you really there
And do you hear and answer every childs prayer?
I know he hears all of our prayers, but it as times like these you wonder is he really listening?
Doesn't he know how much pain this is causing us?
I know we can't always have everything in life we want... I know we all have trials and things we need to experience to make us stronger... but sometimes I do wonder if some people really have too much to bear.
I'm sure we will get through this, we will move on... and I pray we will have a family someday...
but for today I am hurting, and really not understanding..
I pray God will give me comfort and strength even though I may not have the faith right now.
7 Facts about Maternal Depression
12 years ago
Oh Lucy I am SO sorry! I cried when I read this. I know nothing I will say can ease your pain. I have had a few close friends go through this exact same thing and I have seen the hurt it causes. Just know that I love you and will be praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are hurting right now. I pray for comfort for you too. Life is hard sometimes and we just don't know why. Know that Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan. I am sorry for your loss, you will be in my prayers. Love u girl.
ReplyDelete{tears} no. NO. No. and nO! No words for the pain guys! I'm so very VERY sorry! It sucks that when teenagers and drug addicts all over the world get to experience a baby when they don't even want one and they view parenthood as such a burden. And then a perfect couple that would adore and LOVE a child have to go through this! All I can say is it ISN'T FAIR! I pray hard that you can find comfort somewhere in this very difficult time. I love you both! I just can't say it enough, I am so sorry you are going through this. {sending hugs}
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are loved, by family and friends on both sides of the veil. We can't lift the burden, or ease the heartache, but we can be there as a support. You are never alone, in the good times or the bad. Remember, you both are LOVED!!! I was afraid this may be what you was referring to on FB, when you was questioning God's plan for you. Life brings so many challenges, and so many questions, and I don't have a lot of answers, but one thing I know above all else, is that we have a very loving Father in Heaven, who is aware of everything we are facing and loves us more than we can possibly comprehend. There isn't anything I can do without Him, and there isn't anything that I can't do with Him. Not saying it is easy, just that it is possible.
ReplyDeleteLove you both!!!
Mom
I'm so sorry Lucy. I love you. In times like these I like to remember the second verse to that song, "Pray, He is there. Pray, He is listening. You are His child, His love will surround you. He hears your prays, He loves the children."
ReplyDeleteDon't give up on your Heavenly Father, He'll come through for you in one way or another.
Oh Lucy, I'm so sorry. I miscarried twice before we were actually able to have my first boy Brigam and looking back at it, it was such a blessing to have the horrific heartache that I didn't know was possible. Those miscarriages made me and Josh much better parents than we would have been otherwise. It truly gave us the virtue of patience because when our babies finally came, we were so thankful for them to finally be in our arms that we didn't yell or freak out when you hear about most parents doing so. I know how hard it is to listen to a friend complain about how bad her kids were being and you just want to slap them because they don't even realize the gift they have and then they have the audacity to say any negative comment when they have such a precious gift. I know the dark place you can go to when you are thinking these things and working through this trial, but the one thing I can say is I promise it will make you into a better wife to your husband and mother to your children - whether you are able to conceive and carry full term (which I am now praying will happen for you) or you end up adopting. My best advice is lean on your husband through this time. I know Josh and I grew so much closer and became a much more unified team through these trials. Some days he rode my coat tails to get through the day and some days I rode his - we carried each other through day to day as needed. My heart aches for you and I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am praying for you, your husband, and future babies. I know it's been so long since I've seen you, but I send you hugs and I love you to pieces. Please let me know if there's anything you need, even just to vent and "cry" on an understanding shoulder. My email is casiedekker@hotmail.com if you need it. Sending loves and prayers to you...
ReplyDeleteGirl, you have a right to feel what your are feeling! The bible also reminds us "To everything their is a season". Not that it makes it any better but I am sorry you are struggling. I had another friend that had a progesterone issue that made her keep miscarrying, not that you have that and I really don't know all your situation, but it might be worth talking to a dr about it if you haven't already. I wish you the best of luck and my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry you're hurting.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you today!!! Carrie is here and I came home to have her share your blog. I was so touched by your words and am so glad that you shared the feelings of your heart!! As she has said there are no words to take away your pain or the feelings you are experiencing right now. I wish with all my heart that I was by your side and could give you the biggest hug in the world so that you could actually feel the love I have for you! You are so very special to me and I care with all my heart about you. I do not know your pain but I do mourn with you and want you to know that you are in my thoughts! I love you so much and am in your balcony!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you forever!
RaNae
Where have i been!?! Sorry I am so late on commenting...I am SO sorry a long with everyone else. Nothing I say will bring comfort...just know you guys are in our prayers and we LOVE YOU! It's okay to be sad...mad...confused, etc. don't stuff it...a lot of people do. It feels better to get your feelings OUT. LOVE YOU GUYS!!
ReplyDeleteDear Lucy-
ReplyDeleteI love you and understand what you are going through. We miscarried twice before Porter and sometimes it was hard to think why my heart's desires were not being answered. All I can say is it is okay to feel that way and it is okay to cry. Let your Savior know how you feel and let him help you take that pain away.
Lucy, my heart is aching for you because I know how you feel. We had two miscarriages before I got pregnant with Finn. It is an extremely hard thing to go through and it just rips you apart. Just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you. When it is the right time for you, you will start to feel better and you'll be blessed with a healthy baby. My doctor prescribed progesterone the minute we found out we were pregnant and that's the only way I made it through my first trimester. If your doctor hasn't mentioned that to you, maybe ask him/her about that. The progesterone made me feel sick and nauseated, but it's worth it to keep your baby. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on. Love you girl! 801-913-6495
ReplyDeleteLucy,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're hurting. Pain and trials are some of those things that are so hard to understand why. Cassia is pretty sick right now and Ryan gave her a little family night lesson on opposition and he said that we experience the sickness so we will know the how good it feels to be healthy again. I know Heavenly Father loves you just like he loves Cassia. Somehow this is part of his plan. Trust him...he can give you the comfort you're searching for.
I love you and miss you!
Lucy,
ReplyDeleteI have had you on my mind a lot and I guess this is why. I can't even pretend to know what it feels like to go through the range of emotions being pregnant and then losing a baby can bring. I have no idea. But I know that there have been a lot of days in the recent months and years that I have too have felt alone and sad and that Heavenly Father was NOT listening or even caring for that matter. But there have also been times, and while fewer than the bad, that I have literally felt His hand lifting me up and getting me through the next hour, the next day. With all you have been through in your short life I am confident you have felt those same feelings. All I can suggest is hold tight to those sacred memories, because they will help you remember that your Heavenly Father does NOT EVER LEAVE YOU. He and our Savior are crying with you and hurting for you. And so are so many of us. My heart truly breaks for you and I hope that you will not only find comfort, but that the rightous desires of your heart will be fulfilled.
Always remember there are so many people who love you!
Taryn
I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. From personal experience I know somewhat of how you feel. Nothing I would want to do again that's for sure. I think we all wonder why we have to go through the things we have to, but there is one person who knows why. It's just hard going through it at the moment. Sorry I'm not very good with words...Just know that we love both you and Landon very much and think of you guys often. We really do miss hanging out with you two! Hope you're having a better day! Love you! Heather and Aaron
ReplyDeleteLucy, I just wanted to post to say I love you and am praying for you guys. Starting a family is such a wonderful desire, and Heavenly Father will bless you for that and for doing it the right way. I know nothing I say can take away your heartache, but that is my testimony. You are wonderful and will be the perfect mommy to some lucky kiddos one day. Wish we could see you guys. I miss all the USU girls. Love you!
ReplyDelete